Dear Friends,
Well, hello there! Wanted to write a personal note to you, faithful readers and supporters, to thank you for sticking with me in the past and to apologize for the long silence. I had no idea it’s been so long! In recent months, the reason for the silence has more to do with my own brokenness, I think, than a list of excuses.
One issue is “Imposter Syndrome”. Yes, it’s a real thing. The less writing I did, the more I came to believe I’m not up to the task or that the words I might offer would be meaningful. Doing workshops, listening to other writers and reading the works of others only solidified these impressions. The disease of comparison brought doubt and insecurity to the fore.
Today something changed.
Today, I had an experience of God’s healing. It wasn’t a major turnaround, but it was a nudge pushing me off the spot where I was stuck and an encouragement to move forward. Where was I stuck? Well, friends, it was self-acceptance. I’m not sure why it’s been hanging over me now, but that is the issue. In a video interview I heard a priest say, “have no self-loathing. We should love ourselves for Christ’s sake, ultimately”. My tears confirmed my problem.
This has been a theme and one of the main struggles in my life. With all the spiritual direction I’ve had, learning through workshops, retreats and prayers, I am well aware of this issue stemming from early life experiences. It’s often surprising to me that even when we know the issues, when we understand them, have awareness and even if we experience healing, we can still fall back into those old patterns and beliefs, sometimes without even noticing or knowing it. Many people have lived this experience.
But God is a faithful and loving God and He brings us through these circumstances. Sometimes it’s for us to learn something, sometimes to gain understanding and often it’s for our ultimate spiritual growth on the road to salvation. It can be hard to keep trusting God when we’re struggling, uncertain, having health problems or relationship difficulties. He asks us to persevere and to keep our eyes on Him through it all; not always easy to do but, if we can, we will experience a dawning, a rising to a new level, coming to a new plain of life where we use each new understanding for the benefit of the people in our lives.
So, here I am again, considering themes and projects to write about which illustrate how God is present in daily life, how He speaks to us through the relationships and people in our lives as well as the events, small and large, which take place every day.
Where have you seen God’s actions in your life lately?
Please share it so we can encourage one another.
God bless you and keep you safe.
Peace & blessings,
Linda